Never Give Up

Hellooooooooooo Guysssssssssss!!!!!!!

First of all, I want to apologize for not posting more often but I really don't have any spare time this school year. Since I being out for almost a month, I want to let you know why in this post. I guarantee is gonna be one of the most important ones I have done so far.

Let's start by letting you guys know I'm a senior in high school. Where I go to school they have some career opportunities for seniors such as internships/externships and different kinds of programs.  Last year, I signed up for one of them that included some college preparation and an internship. I personally did it because I really need to know if what I want to study is the right for me. In other words, this school year is like a challenge for me.

When I started my internship I was really excited. I thought it will be the most wonderful experience in my whole life. I was in the Obstetrics Department that week. As a couple of you might know obstetricians are the ones who take care of the pregnancy of a woman as well of the delivery of the baby. Man who will ever guess I will end up like I did that week. My second day there I got to see my first delivery. I have to admit that it wasn't a nice process at all. The woman who was delivering was yelling at everybody for nothing and the doctor took years to appear. After the baby was born, I got out of that room because I felt like I was going to black out. All the nurses noticed this and told me to calm down and not to let that delivery influence me because it was a bad one. Finally, I agree to do as they told me.

After two days I was back in the department. I met all the anesthesiologists and they wanted me to watch an epidural. I still ask myself how I made it though. When the guy was through half way of the process he noticed he did the puncture in the wrong place. When he pulled that needle out I was done for. After all the blood started coming out and he started the process again I even had to sit. They tried to encourage me to not give up, that it was my first time seeing it and that I will get used to it. This time I thought, you guys tell me this just because you don't want to crush my dreams. However, right after I got home I called my cousin who is a doctor and talk to him about it. He told me the same thing the nurses told me before.

Since all that happened I being thinking about going into another field and quit everything. I really don't know why I  haven't done it yet. Some say is because I'm not a quitter, others say because I just love the thing. In the end, no one knows the reason why. The only thing I know for sure is that I wont sit around and wait for someone to give me the right answer. I have decided that I will look for reasons of why I shouldn't quit instead of looking for reasons to do so. Luckily with my determination I will figure something out sooner than later.

With this I just want you guys to think about your dreams. Don't let some obstacles to stay in your way forever. You have the willpower to do whatever you like to do. And you know what, if you are the person who doesn't like to quit KEEP IT UP. Right now I'm not willing to let my dream go because of a couple things the frightened me. Life is about showing yourself that if you want to do it you will do it. If you are about to give up, think about it twice. Think of the reason you haven't give up so far. When you find that reason you will find the reason for not giving up.

Also, if you are quitter this is for you. Stop quitting just to avoid things. Keep your head up and face the inevitable. Quitters don't survive, quitters aren't the ones who are successful. You can't go around quitting everything just for silly reasons. If you do what would you learn? What would you get? The answer is simple NOTHING. Don't worry about being afraid or disappointed that's part of life. Sooner than later you will regret being such a coward and immature. In some cases it might be too late to go back.; to start doing things the way you should have done them before.

I hope this post helped some of you out there. Don't be afraid to rely in others. Don't be afraid of your dreams. And most important:

DO NOT EVER GIVE UP ON THEM!!!!!!!!! 

How To Get Over Someone You Are Obsessed With

Life is about growing up, falling in love, and dying. Of course there is more added to that but normally that what happens most of the time. We regularly go through this without wanting it. We grow up because the experiences we have, mostly bad experiences, but we don't want to have bad moments. We don't decide when we fall in love or for who we fall. As a matter of fact, we seem to fall for the wrong people most of the time. Also in the end we all die, we don't know the day or the time. But when all this happens we never consider, what can we do if in the middle of this we get obsessed with someone?

First for all of you who don't know what being obsessed is; is when you like someone way too much and at the end you don't like that person anymore, instead you start feeling like you need and want that person with all you have. This is a really troublesome situation nobody wants to be in. If you are in this situation don't feel bad, every day more people become obsessed with someone against their will. It is really painful too because some times this person doesn't even acknowledge you or have something with you. It CANNOT be controlled. Neither easy to get out of. This is when you know people are stupid, when they say you are obsessed with someone because you want to. It might apply in some cases that's true, but most of the time it doesn't apply at all.

Now lets's talk about what's important in here: how to get over someone you are obsessed with. Each situation differs from another.

I'm ready to move on

These are the people who really want to get over that person as soon as possible. They just want to be free to do what they want without being thinking about what someone else is doing. This kind of people really want to be better in life. 

It takes time, don't panic. Especially if that person goes to the same school you do or lives close to you. The first step is to recognize that you don't like that person. Then the next step is to want to move on. Just a strong person can overcome this. If you are not one, rely on someone that you know that cares about you. It can be a friend or a cousin. It doesn't matter as long as you obtain the support you need.

Next, set up goals. With this I mean goals like, avoid that person whenever you see him/her, delete him/her from every social media account you have (or at least block them or something like this). Do NOT care about what other might say or think when you are doing all this. They ain't living what you are living, therefore they don't know the feeling. Most important, while doing all this remember to be yourself because if you decide to act like someone else you are just going to make a bigger mess out of the situation.

I know this doesn't seem like it is going to work. But that depends on you and the goals you set. As I already stated it takes time. This works. Don't be impatient. 

I like feeling this

For this category I don't have a lot to say. Just that you are stupid. If you like chasing someone who doesn't care for you, you are just pathetic. You don't even deserve the sorry people feel for you. But be who you want and do what you want. That is not my business.

I don't know whether I'm obsessed or not

I don't have a lot to say for this either. You just have think about the someone you like/love and focus deeply about the feeling. Then, use the facts, what that person does to you and stuff like that. When you do this you will know whether you are or not.

(This mostly works when you are not having a relationship with the person.)

Special case.....

Once I said that all situations have a special case. In this case, is if you are obsessed with your ex. That's really a tough one to be in. A lot of people might confuse this with no letting go. They are two different things. When you are obsessed with your ex, you stalk that person, ruin your ex's possibilities to be with someone else. This is why some times when you act like this people don't think that you are mad at that person because something he/she did to you. Instead, they think you are obsessed (which might be the case). Reason for which you should watch what you say about or do to your ex. You might be so obsessed and you don't even know it. Hatred can also be obsession if you think about it.

Best Friends = Treasures

Today I decided to post something more personal. I hope you guys enjoy it and understand why I'm posting this.

Before I moved to US two years ago, I used to live in a little country called the Dominican Republic (DR). There I went to a school where I met a lot of people. Some of them I liked. Others I didn't like a lot. Also, I met a lot of people I didn't talk to but I liked them (Bubu was one of those people).

One day out of the blue this guy I met at school hit me up on Twitter. I was like how the heck did this guy got my username. I didn't want to be mean so I decided to tweet back. After that we started talking more often. Within a couple weeks we added each other on Facebook. It was a lil weird though, I have to admit it.

That summer we talked every day, we video called, we tweeted a lot. And I realize this guy was really nice and a good friend. I trusted him but I still didn't trust him enough to tell him a couple of personal stuff. Let's say we weren't that intimate yet.

I remember one day I was crying all over the place and I felt horrible. I was on Facebook looking for one of my friends but no one was on but the random guy of my school. That was the first day I actually trusted this guy a 100% and told him everything. He was there for me when my other friends were. On March 30, he told me I was his best friend and I didn't know what to think. I found it weird at first but then I realized he was that for me too. My best friend, my confident, and that little voice that tells me when I'm wrong.

A month ago I got the opportunity to see this person like a best friend for the first time. It was kinda of awkward at first but then things went by easy. Last thing I remember is that he was playing the guitar at the same moment I was singing. People even stopped in front of my house to listen to us. I can say that was the best part of my summer.

If you are reading this you know this is for you thanks for being here every time I need you. You can always count on me don't forget that. You know I love you with all my heart Bubu. ^-^

................................................................

For all of you who didn't get why I wrote this.

I wrote this because I just want to let you guys know that your friends and best friends were once strangers to you. You need to give yourself a chance to meet new people. Maybe you can be like me and become best friends with someone who lives far from you. With this I'm not telling you to tweet everyone you see, add everyone on Facebook or ask for everyone's phone number. I just want you guys to know that no all strangers are bad people.

Problems with Second Chances (en español)

¿Nunca has tenido un ex qué no importa que pase entre ustedes dos siempre quieres volver con esa persona?¿Y qué cuando esa persona quiere volver contigo al final terminas cediendo? En sí es lo mas lógico que puedes hacer si amas a esa persona, ¡¿no?! ¿Pero alguna vez te haz preguntado porque terminaron desde un principio? ¿O la razón por la que esa persona quiere volver contigo? Para ser realistas, todos sabemos que las personas no cambian de parecer así de fácil.

La verdad es que no lo hacemos. No nos detenemos a pensar porque la idea de regresar, de tener algo de nuevo con esa persona nos gusta mucho más de lo que pensamos y no vemos las consecuencias que tal acción nos puede causar. Nos gusta tanto que no pensamos sobre lo que puede pasar mañana o con nuestro futuro. Tal ves eso es el amor. Rendirnos ante nuestros deseos sin pensar en nuestra situación.  Pero la pregunta más importante es si esto es lo mejor que podemos hacer o no.

Es bien raro cuando oyes que una pareja que término hace varios años han vuelto a ser novios y actúan como que es la primera vez que están juntos.  ¿Porqué pasa esto? Fácil, porque aveces el amor no es suficiente para mantener una relación a flote. Qué situación más difícil de creer, ¡¿verdad?! Cómo sea, deberíamos enfocar la más en las experiencias que tenemos. ¿Quién te garantiza que esa persona no va a cometer los mismos errores de nuevo? ¿O qué ahora si te merece? Este no es un momento para tomar decisiones al azar. Debes pensar más en ti. No seas tan ajeno. Pensar no te hace pero las decisiones al azar si.

Se que aveces podemos dar una segunda oportunidad no sólo porque creemos que esa persona lo merece, pero porque también nos queremos dar una segunda oportunidad a nosotros mismos. ¿Porqué? En verdad no se. Tal vez para probarnos a nosotros mismos que podemos ser mejores, que podemos cambiar las cosas si queremos. El mejor consejo que puedo darles es que sean honestos con ustedes mismos y piensen en todas las opciones que tienen antes de actuar. Con malas decisiones podemos dañar relaciones que tenemos con nuestros padres, amigos y familia. Las segundas oportunidades no son un derecho que se le otorga a cualquiera. Ellas tienen que ser ganadas con sacrifico. Y si decides intentarlo con esa personas una segunda vez entonces hazlo; da todo lo que tienes si es lo que quieres hacer. En caso de que esta persona te desilusione de nuevo déjala ir. Conoce nuevas personas y sigue a delante. Sólo un/una estupid@ haría sufrir a una persona que "quiere" dos veces. Y créanme hay muchos de esos donde sea que vayan.

Ahora desde mi punto de vista yo no creo en volver con una persona después que terminan o se dan un "tiempo". Pienso que si puedo ahorrarme el dolor y las malas noches lo haré. Todavía no he conocido a alguien que valga las lágrimas de una persona, incluyendo las mías. Y estoy más que 100% segura de que no lo haré. Piensen, quien no aprovecho una primera oportunidad, no va a aprovechar otra. Nunca olvides que necesitas enseñarle a esa persona que has cambiado. Que ya no eres la persona de antes. Que eres fuerte e inteligente. Y lo más importante, que no estas dispuesto a que rompan tu corazón de nuevo.

Problem with Second Chances

Do you ever had an ex that doesn't matter what happens between you two you always want that person back? And when that person tries to get you back you actually give in? Well, this is the most appealing thing to do if you really love that person, isn't it? But do you ever ask yourself why did you guys split up? Or why is that person trying to get you back? 'Cause really people don't change their minds that easily.

Truth is that we don't. We don't think about it 'cause we like the idea for getting back with that person way too much to think about consequences. To care about about tomorrow and about our future. Maybe that's what love is all about. Giving in to your desires without giving to much thought to the situation. The big question is whether is this the right thing to do or not.

Is really weird when you hear that a couple broke up and after a couple years they got back and started all over again. Why is this? 'Cause sometimes love is just not enough to keep a relationship afloat. Hard to believe, right? However, instead of being thinking that love can overcome everything; we should focus more on the facts and experience we have. Like really, who guarantees you that that person will not make the same mistakes again? Or that he or she worth it? Really, this isn't like a moment where you have to guess what to do with your life. You should think more about yourself. Don't be so reckless. Thinking won't harm you but guessing will. Be proactive, be smart.

I know sometimes we might give second chances not only 'cause we believe that person deserves it, but 'cause we want to give a second chance to ourselves. Why? I don't know. Maybe we want to prove ourselves we can do better, that we can change things if we want to. The best advice I can give is to always be honest with yourself and weight the options you have. With such decisions we can damage multiple relations with our parents, friends, and family. Second chances are not just rights that you have to give to every human being. They are something that has to be earned with sacrifices. And if you decide to give it a second try then do it, and give all you have if that's what you want no one can't stop you. In case that person disappoints you again let it go. Meet new people and move on. Only a jerk will make someone suffer twice. And trust me, there are a lot of those everywhere.

However, I don't believe in getting back with someone after a break up. I think if I can save myself some pain I will do so. I haven't yet meet the person who is worth someone's else tears, including mines. And I'm sure I will never do so; 'cause no one that didn't take advantage of a first chance, will take advantage of a second one. Never forget that we need to show them we have changed. That we ain't the same person we were before. That we are stronger. And most important, that we ain't willing to get our hearts broken again.

How Grades Affect Your Life

When we think about grades we just remember high school and in some cases college. But sometimes we don't really see how grades affect our life and how they can change our future. Sometimes we don't even think about it until someone ask us or says something about it. 

Future

Grades affect you doesn't matter if you are in high school or college. They dictate your future. If you get bad grades in high school then you get into a crappy college or university and have to spend money on remedial classes and stuff like that. Some people even quit just for that. And is understandable at some point. In the other hand, if you have good grades you can have more possibilities of getting with what you want. You get to where you want to be faster but not easier necessarily. 

Is not easy to get good grades I know that but sometimes we have to really give up our free time and other stuff in order to study more to get an A or a B or even a C. Also, some teachers just make it harder. It's like they are there just to make sure you fail the class or something. Some of them don't even teach what they are supposed to or don't answer your questions and expect you to get a high grade on the tests and quizzes. But some people just have to show them that it doesn't matter what they do, if they teach or they don't. At the end they are going to pass the class because they care. 

Friends

This is the moment when you know if you have a real friend. If you have a friend in the same class and you are a good student and you get good grades then you will notice some change. They always rely on you not because you are just a good friend but because they want you to give them the answers to homeworks, so then they will have a good grade as you have in the class. But when you have projects and stuff that they can do on their own they will not even ask you if you want to do a group or do it together or if you need some help. And in the worst of the cases, even criticize your projects and how you did them. Sometimes you need to ask yourself like is this really what a friend says or does?

No everyone you know will do this but  just be careful. You might even realize how that being happening for a while and you didn't even notice or gave it a thought. And when that happens, you need to make some changes in your life if you really don't want some fake people around you. Not everyone who is with you is there because they just want to be your friend. They are just some people who want to be friends in order to use you. As a matter of fact some people will take all they can from you if you let them do it.

Family

Your parents are always nagging and arguing about your grades it doesn't matter if they are good or bad.  I think this is part of their roles as parents. They just want to argue and make a show out every situation. So I personally recommend you not to stress over stuff like that. Do the best you can and do it because for you not for them. Like they can't make you smart, they don't do your homework, they don't take your classes, or go to school for you. Like is not bad to want to make your parents proud of you I get that. But don't do stuff because you want to please others. Look for self-satisfaction.

I Do Care but You Don't (en español)

Si, todos hemos conocido a alguien que no le importa que pase con nosotros pero como sea a nosotros si nos importa lo que le pase a esa persona. Si tu dices que nunca te ha pasado eso déjame decirte que necesitas aprender a mentir urgentemente. Ahora la cosa es como dejar de pensar en esa persona... bueno no podemos hacer eso porque desafortunadamente la vida no es tan fácil. ¿¡¿Triste verdad?!? Pero aquí estoy yo para darles algunos planes/ideas en como olvidarse de esto por un momento. Hmm tal vez por mas que un simple momento.

Primero, no vayas a oír las canciones mas depresivas que tengas y comiences a llorar y actuar como si el mundo se va a acabar. Tampoco vayas a al cine a enseñarle a medio mundo que patétic@ eres porque un amigo o menos que eso no siente lo mismo que tu sientes. Créeme el mundo no se va a acabar porque una persona este depresiva y triste y ademas a nadie más que a tus amigos y familia les importa lo que te pase y aveces ni a ellos. No es un secreto que la sociedad es así, todo el mundo que no te conoce solo quiere hablar de ti y normalmente no es nada bueno. Segundo, busca algo que hacer que te guste y hazlo no importa lo que sea. Ahora si no encuentras interés en nada de eso mejor no lo hagas porque en menos de 5-10 mins vas a estar haciendo todo menos eso. No llames o le mandes mensajes a esa persona, ten un poco de respeto a ti mism@. Al final cuando te deje importar esa persona vas a estar como en que rayos estaba pensando cuando hice eso etc. y eso no es bueno para ti.

Ahora, si eres el tipo de persona que no es tan suicida lo que significa que eres mas loco, también tengo algunas ideas para ti. Si quieres ve de compras o sal con tus amigos o ve al parque, lo que sea con tal de no quedarte en tu casa. O puedes quedarte en casa y llamar a algunos amigos si no te sientes con ánimos de salir. Tu meta es no darte tiempo para pensar en esa persona que ni se da cuenta que tan cerca estas. POR FAVOR no seas como unas de esas gentes que actúan como si esa persona fuera mas que un simple amigo locas y por eso van y se emborrachan y se acuestan con el/la primer@ que ven. Recuerda que tienes una vida por vivir y una decision estupida puede marcarte de por vida. Oh se como yo y crea un blog y comienza a escribir loqueras.... estoy relajando esta no es la razón por la que me cree mi blog.

El punto principal es que todo esto es para liberarte y superar todo lo que no te beneficia. Quien sabe al final esa persona hasta te puede considerar después de que dejes de lamentarte a cada rato porque te están ignorando. O sea todo es posible. Y con esto no te estoy diciendo que vayas a fingir que no te importa a ver si la persona te considera. En conclusión, hacer esto no esta considerado como evadir tus problemas, esto es una forma de que algo insignificante deje de afectarte (aunque a decir la verdad emborracharse y acostarse con cualquiera es una forma de evadir tus problemas y ser un cobarde).

I Do Care but You Don't

Yeah, we all have known someone who doesn't care about us but we still care about that person. If you say you haven't let me tell you right now that you need to learn how to lie. Now the thing is how do we stop caring about that person .... well we can't just do that because unfortunately things don't work that easy. Sad isn't it?!?! But here I'm ready to give you some plans/ideas of how to just forget about this for a moment. Hmm maybe for way more than a simple moment. 

First, don't go and play your sad songs and start crying and acting like the world is going to end. Nor go to the movies and let everyone know how pathetic you can be because a friend or not even that doesn't feel the same way you do. Trust me the world is not going end to because you are depressed and down and no one besides your friends and family care if you are miserable and some times not even them. Like really society is just like that, people who doesn't know you just want to talk about you and most of the time they don't say nice things. Second, find something that you like and do it, doesn't matter what it is just do it. If you don't find any interest on anything you like at the moment then don't even try to do it because within 5-10 mins you are going to be doing everything but that. Also, don't text or call that person have some self respect. At the end when you stop caring you going to be like what was I thinking about and stuff like that and that doesn't help you either.

Now, if you are the kind of person who are not that suicidal which mean that you are more than crazy, I also have some ideas for you. If you want just go shopping or hang out friends or go to the park, whatever you want to do that's not staying at home. On the other hand, if you don't feel like getting out of your house call some friends over and have a good time. Your goal is not to give yourself enough time to think about a person who totally doesn't even notice you are there. PLEASE don't be like those people who act like if the other person is more than a friend and go and get drunk and hook up with some weirdo. Remember that you still have a life to live and making stupid decisions can ruin it forever. Or maybe be like me and get a blog and start posting.... I'm just kidding this isn't the reason I created a blog.

The main point of all this is to let yourself be free and get over stuff that doesn't benefit you. Who knows at the end that person might even consider you after you stop showing how bad you feel because you are being ignored. Like everything is possible. And with this I'm not telling you to go and act like you don't care to see if that person considers you. In conclusion, doing this is not considered avoiding your problems,  this is just a way to stop something insignificant from affecting you (actually the one about getting drunk and laid is a way to avoiding your problems and being a coward).

More than Friends and Distance (en español)

Hoy estaba hablando con una amiga y no pude creer que la situación de ser mas que amigos y la distancia es tan común. En el momento que terminamos nuestra conversación, sentí que yo debía hacerles saber como este tipo de situación/relación comienza y se desarrolla.

Nota: En este post me referiré a esto como situación, relación o las dos al mismo tiempo. No se confundan.

¿Qué es una situación ser mas que amigos y la distancia? ¿Y porqué la distancia es el problema principal?

Creo que ya para este tiempo todos sabemos que son amigos con beneficios y como funciona. Si tu piensas que esto es lo mismo, pues déjame decirte que estas equivocado. En este tipo de situación/relación es más o menos como una fantasía en la cual te involucras con un amigo que nunca te ibas a imaginas que iba ser mas que un simple amigo, incluso si el te gustaba. Esto siempre comienza cuando uno comienza a mandarse mensajes, fotos y hasta hacer vídeo llamadas. La cosa es que al final ustedes son como amigos con derecho pero nunca llegan a hacer nada porque la posibilidad de ustedes verse es 1 en un 1000000. Y para el tiempo que te das cuenta de lo que esta pasando y sabes que tienes que pararlo no quieres porque en verdad te gusta el chico o la chica.

¿Cómo se cuando estoy en esta situación?

En este momento procederé a decirte las cosas que caracterizan esta situación. Primero, si tu siempre estas hablando con esta persona, o sea 24/7, y siempre tienen algo de que hablar cuando antes no se hablaban más que una vez al año (esa es como la señal de que ese tipo de situación comenzara tarde o temprano). Segundo, si ustedes nunca hablaban de su vida personal y de la noche a la mañana se dicen todo. También, si ustedes hablan de como se verían juntos y cuanto se quieren déjenme decirles que están bien hundidos en esta situación. Pero con lo que tienen que tener cuidado es, que esto puede parecer una relación normal de amigos hasta el momento que comienzan hablar de un futuro juntos. Justamente en ese momento es cuando yo no puedes parar porque esto te hace sentir bien.

¿Qué puedo hacer si no quiero poner un stop a esta situación?

Yo pienso que esta es la pregunta mas común que nos hacemos desde que nos damos cuenta de que esta pasando. Yo personalmente pienso que esta parte varia dependiendo en la persona mas que todo. Te recomiendo que analices la situación y pienses que ganas de esto, si lo vale. Después que hagas esto, debes hablar con la persona y explicarle como te sientes y porque ustedes deberían parar con esto. Te puedo garantizar que la otra persona va a querer seguir con tal relación y te convencerá de que sigan y en que caso de que no pueda convencerte dejara pasar un poco de tiempo y después tratara de envolverte de nuevo y tu ni cuenta te darás.

¿Qué puedo hacer si no quiero herir sus sentimientos?

Esto depende solo en ti. Cuando hables de ponerle un stop a la relación tienes que ser convincente y hacer que la otra persona entienda tu punto. Si no lo hace, posiblemente lo tome mal y hará un drama. En el peor de los casos hasta puede hacerte cambiar de parecer y seguirás con la relación como si nada ha pasado. Todo como una típica relación de novios.

¿Y qué pasa si no quiero que termine?

Honestamente si no quieres que pare entonces no tienes que pararlo. A todos nos gusta sentirnos queridos por una persona por la que sentimos algo y que apreciamos. Pero al fin y al cabo esto no es bueno para ti. En un momento comenzaras a confundir la realidad con la fantasía y eso es un NO gigante. Pero si crees que puedes continuar sin ninguna complicación entonces adelante. Tu mas que nadie te conoces y sabes que eres capaz de soportar y como manejas las cosas.

Un caso especial de esta situación

Como siempre hay una excepción a cada caso o situación. En este caso, la excepción no es nada bonita. Este tipo de situación se diferencia de las otras porque la distancia no es un problema. Los dos participantes hablan de un futuro junto, salir a dar una vuelta, entre otras cosas. Pero al final uno de los dos nunca trata por cumplir lo que dijo (normalmente el chico). Esta persona es la que siempre te habla primero y termina la conversación. El o ella siempre te hacen sentir amad@, como si a ellos les importara pero al final si te sientas a pensar te das cuenta de que solo están jugando con tus sentimientos. La peor parte es que después de tener un día espectacular hablando de lo que ustedes dos tienen, básicamente la persona deja de mandarte mensajes por días y alguna veces hasta por semana. A el o ella no le importa que tu lo/la veas conectada en Facebook o que tu veas que se entra en Whatsapp miles de veces al día y solo no tienen tiempo para responder tu mensaje. Ya para este momento estas totalmente ilusionada con esa persona y no hay nada que puedas hacer. Puedes llegar hasta a sentirte impotente porque quieres olvidarte de esa persona pero cuando el o ella aparece el drama comienza de nuevo. Aquí esta mi consejo, solo trata de hacer la situación mas fácil para ti. Busca una forma para olvidarte de el o ella. Si te manda un mensaje no le respondas si no crees que eres capaz de mantener una conversación normal. Date tiempo para pensar y si esa persona te exige una explicación se totalmente honest@ acerca de tus sentimientos y como la situación te afecta. Se que mucho pensaran que es fácil para mi decir esto pero solo me queda decirle que es lo correcto y lo único que pueden hacer para dejarse de sentir así. Se que ser honesto puede doler pero guardarse todo duele mucho mas.

Te recomiendo que...

• Trata de evitar cualquier tipo de conversación en la cual ustedes hablen de tener sexo o algo parecido. Mientras mas se apegan se ponen mas difícil es decir adiós.
• Si alguien te pregunta di que solo son amigos. No tienes que dar explicaciones si no quieres. Es tu vida no la de ellos.
• Habla con un amigo que confíes acerca de esto. Siempre es bueno saber la opinión de alguien que esta afuera de la situación. También ese amigo puede darte buenos consejos en el momento de tomar decisiones pero recuerda que al final tu tienes la ultima palabra.
• Siempre se realista. Se honesta y siempre trata de hablar de como la distancia afecta lo que ustedes tienen. Menos realidad = mas apegamiento.
• Puede llegar un momento en el que te puedes sentir celos@ si esa persona menciona a otra. Por favor trata de mantener tus conversaciones con el o ella solo de ustedes dos.
• NUNCA trates de establecer una relación seria hasta que la distancia deje de ser una barrera entre ustedes. Sino te estarás regalándote unas noches largas de depresión y llanto.
• Lo más importante es que tal vez puedas tener control de que tan lejos llega todo pero tus sentimientos, bueno eso es algo que nunca podrás decidir. Como todos dicen en el corazón nadie manda y los sentimientos son solo eso sentimientos.

More than Friends and Distance

Today I was talking with my friend and I couldn't believe that the situation of being more than friends and distance is so common. By the time we were done with our conversation, I felt like I had to let people know how this kind of situation/relationship starts and how it works.

Note: I will refer to this as situation,relationship or both. Don't get confused.

What's a being more than friends and distance situation? And why is distance the main problem here?

Well, I guess by now we all know what friends with benefits means and how that deal works. If you think this is the same thing well let me tell you that you are quite wrong. This kind of situation/relationship is pretty much a fantasy that takes place with a friend that you will never expect to be more than a friend even if you like him. You pretty much start texting, sending pics, and even video calling each other. The thing is that at the end you guys are pretty much friends with benefits but never get to something because the possibility of seeing each other is like 1 in a 1000000. And by the time you realize you need to stop it basically you don't want to because you really like the girl or the guy.

How do I know when I'm in this situation?

I gonna proceed to tell you the main things that characterize the situation. First, if you are always talking to this person, I mean like 24/7, and you always find something to talk about when you normally talked like once a year (that's always the first signal that this situation will take place sooner than later). Second, if you normally don't talk about your personal stuff with this person and within a month you tell each other everything. Also, if you guys start talking about how cute you will look together and that you like each other then you are totally in this situation. But I think the main thing that you need to pay attention to is, that this might seem just like a normal friend relationship until you get to the part that you talk about a future together. That's exactly the moment when you feel like you just can't stop because you feel good about it.

What can I do if I want to stop this situation?

I think this is the main question we ask ourselves after we realize what's going on. I personally think that this part varies depending on the person. I would recommend that you analyze the situation and think about what do you get by doing this, if it worth it. After you do this, of course you need to talk to the other person and explain him/her how you feel and why you guys should stop this. I can guarantee you that the other person will want to keep the relationship and will convince you to don't stop it and in the case he/she doesn't convince you they will let some time pass and then they will try to get you back on it and you will not even realize it.

What can I do if I don't want to hurt his/her feelings?

This depends totally on you. When you talk about stopping the relationship you have to make sure you get your point across and that also makes total sense. If it doesn't then the other person might take it wrong and make a big deal about it and in the worst case make you change your mind and keep the relationship going. Just like a typical kind of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

What can I do if I don't want it to stop?

Honestly if you don't want to stop it you don't have to. We always like to feel loved by a person we appreciate and feel something for and that's ok. The thing is after all this is not good for you. You might start confusing reality with fantasy and that's a huge NO. But if you think you can separate both then go on for it. You know yourself, you know what you are able to handle.

An exception in this situation

As we all know there is always an exception to each situation. In this case, the exception is not a pleasurable at all. This kind is characterized because the people involved can actually see each other. In other words, distance is not the main problem in here. They talk about a future together, like hanging out and etc. but at the end one of them never tries to make it true (most of the time the guy). This person is the one who always or most of the time text first and ends up the conversation. They make you feel loved, like they care but at the end you start thinking about the relationship and you see that they are just like playing with your feelings. The worst part of it is that after an amazing day talking about what you two have, the person basically stops texting you for like days and even weeks and he/she doesn't even care if you see him/her online on Facebook, or if you know he/she gets in Whatsapp a thousand times a day and just doesn't have time to answer your text. By know you are totally hooked and you can't do anything about it. You may feel impotent because you want to get over that person but every time he/she texts you everything starts all over again. Here is my advice, just try to make the situation easier on you. Find a way to stop thinking about that person, when he/she texts you don't answer if you don't feel like you are prepared to have a normal conversation like normal friends have, give each other time to think, and if that person asks for an explanation tell him/her the truth about how are you feeling. I know is easy for me to say but it is the right thing to do if you want to stop feeling like that. It might hurt to be honest but keeping all to yourself will hurt even more.

Things I recommend you to do and consider ....

• Avoid sexting as much as you can. The more intimate you get the harder is to say good-bye.
• When someone ask you if you have something just say you are friends. You don't have to explain anyone if you don't feel like it. Is your life not theirs.
• Talk to a friend you trust about it. Is always good to have an outsider give you his/her opinion once in a while. Also they might give you good advises at the moment of making a decision. But remember you always have the last word.
• Always keep it real. Be honest and always talk about how distance affect what you guys have. Less reality = more attachment. 
• At some point, you might even feel jealous if this person mentions someone else. So try to keep your conversations about you guys.
• NEVER try to escalate by having a real relationship unless distance stops being a barrier between you guys. That's like buying yourself some long nights of crying.
• And the most important thing is that you might control how far things go but your feelings, that's something you will never decide because feelings are just feelings after all there is nothing you can do about it.

Hey Guys!!!

I can't believe I finally created my blog. I'm so excited right now. But well, I just want to let you guys know a little about me and my plans. First, I'm not expecting you to agree with me in everything I post. I'm here just to give you some alternatives and ideas about how to solve and cope with the problems that we as teenagers have to face on a daily basis. My plan is to let you guys tell me about what stuff in specific do you want me to talk about. You can say whatever you want like relationships, moving to a new place/country, loosing weight, high school, etc. I'm willing to answer all your questions and give you as many advises as you need. I'm an open-minded person so you might love or hate the way I think about certain topics. Also, I'm a bilingual person and some people already asked me to post in both English and Spanish. Which as a matter of fact, I think will be a great idea.

Well, I think this is all I have to say right now. I'm hope I can help you guys. And remember that ....